DAY I
5:00-5:10 Show Video Clips:
When Harry Met Sally - Elderly Couple
Touched by an Angel - Wedding Crisis
WELCOME - INTRODUCTION
5:10-6:00 HOW WELL DO WE KNOW OURSELVES?
1. How people process information - Internal processors vs External processors
6:00-6:30 UNDERSTANDING THE LEVELS OF RELATIONSHIP
a. Stranger/Neighbor (optional/minimal)
b. Casual Acquaintance/Friend (optional/minimal e.g. church, work, neighborhood, hobbies, clubs, sports)
c. Close/Important Friend (important/significant)
d. Intimate Accountability Relationship (necessary/critical)
e. Courtship (optional/critical)
(additional categories after article following)
f. Engagement (optional/critical)
g. Marriage (optional/critical)
6:30-6:40 BREAK
6:40-7:00 THE COMMUNITY CONTEXT OF RELATIONSHIP
a. Government (wedding certificate, shared debts, intervention in conflict)
b. Church (counseling, general teaching, family ministry, workshops)
c. Work (balanced time and priorities, managing vacation and sick time)
d. Family (help evaluate possible relationship, support marriage)
e. Intimate Friends (accountability and perspective, support marriage)
f. Other Friends and Acquaintances (factual perspective, support marriage)
7:00-7:30 COUPLES COMPLETE PREPARE 2000 INVENTORY
* HOMEWORK: Freedom vs Stuckness Worksheet
DAY II
5:00-6:15 INTENTIONAL ROMANTIC CHOICES
a. What Marriage Is Not (brief checklist)
b. What Marriage Is (brief checklist)
c. God's Expectations For Marriage:
Holy and Righteous
Purpose of Marriage (compensate lost value To GOD Versus Singleness)
Equally Yoked
Modeling (partial model of Trinity and Holy Spirit-believer relationships,
Procreation (optional, must be in context of intentional modeling)
d. Sexual Intimacy Prior to or Outside of Marriage (what part of "no" …)
e. Individual and Shared Expectations of the Marriage Relationship
f. Couples Interact
g. Review
6:15-6:25 BREAK
6:25-7:30 FREEDOM FROM PLACES OF 'STUCKNESS' (Personal and Relational)
a. Necessary to Acquire Freedom Prior to Courtship Engagement or Marriage
b. Key Places of Stuckness (emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical/illness)
c. Whole Person Balanced Healing (body, mind, spirit)
d. Church and Community System Resources (elders, FIC, praying-saints)
e. Couples Complete Modified CPI from FIC
f. Review
* HOMEWORK: Communication and Conflict Couples Worksheets
DAY III
1:00-1:45 OVERVIEW OF PREPARE 2000 RESULTS
1:45-2:15 COUPLES INTERACTION WITH PREPARE 2000 RESULTS
2:15-3:00 PREPARE 2000 Q and A
3:00- 3:10 BREAK
3:10-4:00 ROMANTIC-RELATIONSHIP SPECIFIC PREPARATION
a. Am I ready? (emotional, intellectual, and spiritual maturity)
b. Is she/he ready? (emotional, intellectual, and spiritual maturity)
c. Emotional Availability (freedom from other commitments, compatibility)
d. Spiritual Availability (faith, is God Lord of all choices, singleness is
a Biblically honored choice, previous marriage/Biblical divorce)
e. Intellectual Availability (understanding of key issues, life priorities)
f. Physical Availability (health, finances, consistent job proximity to home)
4:00 - 4:45 COMMUNICATION PRINCIPLES (reference tests and Prepare 2000 results)
a. Auditory, Kinestetic, Verbal
b. Listening with Clarity (couples practice)
c. Review
4:45-5:30 CONFLICT RESOLUTION (reference tests and Prepare 2000 results)
a. Basic Principles
b. Sample Methodologies (couples practice)
c. Review
5:30-6:00 BREAK and DINNER (some couples may leave if no broken-relationship issues)
*HOMEWORK: Parenting and Finances Couples Worksheets (distributed now, so all get them)
6:00-6:30 FAMILY OF ORIGIN ISSUES (reference tests and Prepare 2000 results)
a. The Relationship Modeling We Have Received
b. Divorce or broken long-term marriage-equivalent romantic relationship.
c. Broken engagement(s).
d. Broken home as a child -- parents who were divorced/separated/estranged.
e. If your parents are divorced/separated/estranged since you left home.
f. Addictions, Habits, Priorities, Generational Patterns
g. Traditions, Cultural, Religious
6:30-7:00 SECOND MARRIAGES
a. Biblical Definitions of Divorce and Remarriage (multiple views)
b. Entanglements With The "Ex" (incl. "Ex-In-Laws and children)
c. Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual Cleansing
d. Handling the Holidays
7:00-7:30 BLENDED HOUSEHOLDS
a. Overview of Potential Circumstances
b. Whose Children Are They? (authority issues)
c. Managing the Multitudes (children and/or relatives)
d. Handling the Holidays
DAY IV
5:00-5:30 ANTICIPATING THE INEVITABLE SURPRISES IN MARRIAGE
a. What Are They? (financial, health, conflict, children)
b. How Do We Anticipate/Discern Them? (elders, boundaries, accountability,
Enrich 2000)
c. How Do We Respond? (prayer, accountability, discipleship)
5:30-6:00 SO, YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN?
a. Preparing To Be A Parent (humorous pre-child form)
b. Serious Review Of The Impact Of Children On The Marital Relationship
c. Reference tests and Prepare 2000 results
d. The Adoption Option
6:00-6:10 BREAK
6:10-7:30 FINANCIAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE
a. The Facts (Reconcilable Differences, Prepare 2000, Other sources)
b. The Tools You Will Need To Succeed (Reconcilable Differences,
Prepare 2000, Other sources)
c. Couples complete worksheet(s)
d. Review
*HOMEWORK: Spiritual Traditions Couples Worksheets
DAY V
SUPPORT SYSTEMS FOR MARRIAGE
5:00-5:30 SWEETHEART and ELDERS BANQUET
(spiritually mature and relationally experienced couples, old and young,
join attendees for private Q and A and general sharing of wisdom)
5:30-6:00 TIPS ON KEEPING ROMANCE IN YOUR MARRIAGE
6:00-6:30 TIPS ON KEEPING GOD IN YOUR MARRIAGE/CREATING A SPIRITUAL CLIMATE IN THE HOME
a. Why? (reference Day II, God's Expectations For Marriage)
b. How? (prayer, devotions, selected entertainment, accountability)
6:30-7:00 IF, WHEN, THEN ... WEDDING DAY PERSPECTIVES ...
7:00-7:30 FINAL Q and A, Present Book/Tape/CD, ??
Interim Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor, and Assistant Pastor
Ministry roles in administration, children, counseling, men, small groups, youth
Ordained by the Florida Baptist Convention of the Southern Baptist Conference
Licensed to the ministry by the Baptist General Conference
Licensed to ministry by the Evangelical Free Association
Doctorate of Ministry in Church Leadership (Spiritual Formation Track) from Bethel Theological Seminary
Doctorate thesis topic: Pre-Marriage Counseling and Ministry
Masters of Divinity (equivalency for advanced-DMin admission) from Bethel Theological Seminary
Masters of Counseling in Marriage and Family Therapy from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary
Masters in Public Administration studies at University of New Hampshire (transferred to seminary)
Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice from Northeastern University.
Other experience: Adjunct Professor across a wide variety of courses including Bible, business,
counseling, government, leadership, management, pastoral, psychology, youth ministry